


Everything

by hulklinging



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Break Up, Getting Back Together, Multi, Polyamory, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 23:45:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4765457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hulklinging/pseuds/hulklinging
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winning is everything, as long as you get to keep the people on either side of you.</p><p>Kate struggles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt nohvar/tommy/kate 'something you said when i was crying'.

Kate Bishop let her team down.

It doesn't matter how one spins it. Cassie's dead, Jonas gone. She was supposed to be their leader. Her fault. But it's not happening again. She refuses to let it.

She trains her ass off. She goes solo. She goes out, sees the world. Sees people. Boys, girls, aliens. She lives, and feels guilty about it, but it's better than the alternative. It has to be.

She has to be better. And if better means waking up with a guy who almost killed you...? Hey, at least the view's amazing. Space and his abs. And he's changed. It gives her hope, really. That she can change. That she'll have a chance to grow up.

She's so busy moving forward that she forgets to look behind her. She just figured... Speedster. She shouldn't have to wait for him to catch up. So what, Tommy's run off. It's not like they ever put a word to what they were. So everyone else got the same idea as her and now her team is scattered and she's literally the worst leader, Eli would be so disappointed if he still gave a shit.

She pretends she's happy he doesn't anymore. There's no one around her who knows her well enough to catch her in the lie.

Well, maybe Clint. Not on purpose, but he's there more often than not. Or maybe it's her who keeps coming back to him, to make sure the old man hasn't gotten himself killed. It's so easy, this friendship, and this slow collapse she's stuck in the middle of is something he must recognize, because he never really judges her for it.

Would he judge her for this? She watches the alien boy dance to a song that came out before she was born, a smile on his face, and she thinks this is something Clint might even be proud of her for.

And then they're jumping through the multiverse, following another old enemy (one of the Avenger's, not theirs, but she supposes he falls under their jurisdiction now, little as he is) through cracks in the worlds, chasing a ghost or three. Chasing the idea that Tommy can be saved. As always with Tommy, he's hard to catch.

What first felt like the best galaxy road trip ever is now a marathon, and it is exhausting. Teddy leaves, and Kate kicks herself, because she should have noticed he was hurting. Too preoccupied. Not enough of her to go around. And Teddy has always been the steady one. Their tank, emotionally as well as literally. And then he's gone. Billy's spinning out, his brother and his boyfriend taking parts of him with them when they go, but she is startled by how off balance she feels. She's been on her own, but somehow this is more lonely. A broken team, full of spaces instinctively left for those not there. Teddy, and Tommy, but also Eli, Cassie, Jonas, Nate. So many faces missing from a team huddle. So much weight on her shoulders.

Teddy missing. A crazy plan. A break up, somewhere around then, a quick decision and maybe a regrettable one but she doesn't have time for regret, or romance at all. She needs to lead this team, she needs them all to be standing there with her at the end. She can't fail again.

People try to tell their kids 'winning isn't everything.' But Kate's always been competitive. She doesn't do things by half. Standing with her friends, breathless and aching but alive, they're all alive... She knows better. Because this is winning. And it's everything.

They're not quite adults yet, regardless of age. So what do a bunch of kids do when they save the world? They throw a party. It's New Years after all. Kate throws herself into it, new dress and all. And maybe she flirts with America, a little. And one of David's friends, from Xavier's. She dances with teammates and strangers and tries to ignore the boy in the booth, dancing to music from before she was born.

She only knows it's close to midnight because the throngs of people have started to pair off, couples making eyes at each other as the seconds tick by. And she doesn't mind watching them, fully prepared to sit this tradition out, when someone grabs her hand.

Tommy grabs her hand.

They're dancing, and it's like they never fell out of step. It's like he never left (or was it her who left first?). It doesn't feel real, seeing him in front of her, and then it's midnight and he kisses her like there's nowhere else he'd rather be. Kisses her like he has all the time in the world, even though she can feel his heart going so fast, like the hummingbird she once found, less like a heartbeat and more like a purr. Tommy takes the time to kiss her like she wants, even though she knows he hates standing still.

He does it for her, and that knowledge makes her head spin.

They walk away and into the New Year with no labels attached, but she feels good like she hasn't in a long time. Not all the spaces are gone, but that's life as a superhero, really. People will leave you, or die. But every once in a while, you get someone back. And that's what happened tonight. She'll take it.

After saving the world together, it should be easier to keep in touch. But no, Kate comes out of that and falls right into a mess of her own, and there's no calling for backup on this one, not when it's probably her fault. She manages, like she always does. She comes back to reality like an afterthought, slipping back into her city with little fanfare. She visits Clint. She shoots. She considers telling people she's back, but it keeps slipping her mind. Billy texts her, and she responds. Cassie's back, he says. She doesn't know what to say, or how to feel. She should go see her, but she keeps putting it off. Not sure what to do.

Kate's phone wakes her up on a Wednesday morning. Not her alarm, but a call. It's Tommy. She picks up before she really registers being awake, even, and so it takes her a few seconds to sort out what he's saying.

"Tommy," she says, and she sounds tired even though she must have slept almost twelve hours. She's always tired, lately. Her limbs are heavy, but she doesn't let it slow her down. That might be why she crashes at the end of each day, sleeping deep enough that she leaves all of her dreams behind as she wakes up. "Tommy, you're talking too fast."

"Sorry." He sounds sheepish, like he's actually sorry. Usually she'd just get teased for not being able to keep up. "I was asking if you wanted to come over."

"You don't even know where I am," she reminds him. He doesn't seem bothered.

"Doesn't matter. I'm sorta the fastest thing around. Where are you? I'll come get you."

Awkward silence.

"Clint's place," she admits.

"You're home?" He sounds disbelieving, but not angry. He sounds glad, and she doesn't know how to take that.

"Yeah, I am."

No sooner does she say it than there's a knock at her door. She groans, but can't bite back her smile, as she gets dressed as quickly as she can. She opens the front door to Tommy's cocky smile.

"Fancy seeing you here." He has the nerve to give her a wink.

"Hi, Tommy."

If they hug for longer than is strictly platonic, well, they're the only ones who know.

And Kate knows this is how he says everything he doesn't have words for, in these moments where he makes time for her. It means more than his words would anyway.

He's the one to finally pull away, although he doesn't let go of her arm.

"Come on, let's go!"

"Where are we going?"

Tommy gets a suspicious look in his eye. "To... My place."

This earns him a raised eyebrow. "You have a place?"

"Everyone has a place, Kate." And that's new, that mentality. It suits him, sits on his shoulders like a bit of maturity. He takes her hand, and it's warm in hers. She holds on tighter than is usually polite, when you're holding an ex-something, potential something else's hand. But Tommy returns the pressure, meets her halfway. And that's everything.

Tommy's 'place' surprises her. Not because she's unfamiliar with it, but because the last place she expected to find Tommy living was Noh Varr's ship.

"You live with Noh Varr?"

Tommy nods, and Kate notices the tips of his ears are pink. "He offered, when I mentioned I didn't wanna intrude on any happy family sitcom. It's roomy, okay?"

"I know," says Kate, and Tommy sticks his tongue out at her.

He doesn't knock, when he walks in, but Noh Varr must be home, because there's some girl group playing over the ship's intercom, and because Tommy announces their presence with a shout.

"Noh Varr! Kate's over!"

There's a loud crash somewhere near the back of the ship, and the music stops. Noh Varr's voice sounds almost casual, when he calls back at them "Be out in a minute! Hello Kate!"

Kate wonders if this is awkward for him. If this should be awkward for her. It doesn't feel awkward. In fact, she surprises herself by realizing she's missed Noh Varr. She's not sure how she missed him, whether the ache she pretended to ignore was romantic or just him as a person in her life, but she has missed him. That's something for her to ponder, when she's got a moment to herself. She has a lot to think about, uncomfortable things she's been putting off for a very long time now.

But she's a superhero. If anyone can save Kate Bishop, sort her brain out, it's Kate Bishop.

"Hey, Noh Varr!" She calls back, and smiles. For now, she'll leave the big questions behind, and just enjoy the company of these two boys, who she might not have proper words for, but who are both very important to her nonetheless.

Tommy pulls her into what used to be a storage bay, if she remembers right. It's been haphazardly converted into a den, posters plastered over the barren walls, a couch that would have looked at home in any 'boys only' basement, with a knit blanket tossed over it.

"Please tell me one of you knit that." The blanket is bright green and not the most evenly knitted thing. It has pompoms on only one side.

Tommy shakes his head. "Actually, Molly made it. The baby on the Runaways? Yeah. She gave it to me when I visited."

Kate stares at the blanket. She had been in LA and hadn't thought to look up the Runaways, see how they were faring. And Tommy had gone and bonded with the kid, enough that her knitting him a blanket is not even a big deal.

Kate realizes that maybe she has not been reaching out as much as she could. A lot of her connections have broken, or rotten away. Her old therapist might call this somewhat of a relapse. She decides then and there to fix this. Starting with her therapist. Because if Tommy can do it, then so can she. Because everyone needs a helping hand, sometimes.

She looks down at her and Tommy's hands, still intertwined. Especially heroes.

They sit on the couch, and there's a moment that is almost long enough to be awkward, before Tommy turns to her.

"Noh Varr may have supplied the ship, but I supplied the N64. Wanna play Mario Cart?"

She does. Noh Varr joins them and brings popcorn with him, so they take turns racing each other while the odd one out heckles and cheers. No one mentions the unfinished relationships that rest between them, or what they've been up to since they last saw each other. They simply relax, pretend for just a little while to be normal not-quite-adults. And it's easy.

"When are you next free?" Tommy asks her.

"Tomorrow?"

She ends up over there every day that week. It's not always video games in their strange little den. Sometimes it's a walk through the city, or a movie off of Noh Varr's list of Earth culture he wants to experience. Tommy gets them tickets to a Broadway show, of all things, and it isn't until they've hung out almost ten days in a row that Kate realizes she's probably still in love with both of them. She doesn't say anything, but sometimes Noh Varr grabs her hand, instead of Tommy. She doesn't mind.

On day fourteen, she doesn't see the boys. Instead, she sees her therapist for the first time in over a year. It's a hard session, one that leaves her feeling a little unsteady, but she's pencilled in for every Thursday at four, now. She thinks it will help.

On day twenty, she visits her sister. She's going to be an aunt. She had no idea.

On day twenty seven, she's reading a book at home when there's a knock on her door. She opens it expecting Tommy, but finds Clint instead. Lucky is with him. She returned her dog to his home when she first got back, figuring if they were living it the same building anyway it made sense for him to go back to the apartment he knows. She missed the bugger. She leans down to say hello while Clint stares.

"You are still home," he says, sounding surprised. He's still in the clothes he slept in, by the look of it. "I thought so, but you're never here when I check."

She is pleasantly surprised he was checking up on, even though it shouldn't really surprise her. Clint might be a bit of a mess, but he is a great landlord. And friend.

"I've been out a lot," she says, purposefully vague.

He raises an eyebrow at her. "In costume?"

She hasn't touched her costume since she's been back. Her bow? Of course. But her costume has been left behind even on the few calls she's made as Hawkeye since she's been home. She's not sure why. Maybe it's just time for a new one.

"No, just with friends."

He laughs at her, which is fair. It's the same excuse she had prepared for her dad, if he ever thought to ask. But it's not a lie, not this time, and Clint realizes that pretty quick.

"Oh, you're not kidding. Really?" He smiles, genuinely happy for her, and she smiles back. She's proud of herself too.

"Have you had coffee yet?" Which is a stupid question, because even if he has, he could always do with more. So she makes him coffee and gives Lucky some treats she still has tucked away, and her and Clint fall back into their specific brand of teasing, the one that's all about gauging how the other is doing without so many words.

She's on her second cup of coffee and Clint's halfway through some crazy story about an underground sect of Avenger-worshipers in Pennsylvania when there's another knock on her door. This time it is Tommy, with Noh Varr right behind him. They're bright eyed and pink cheeked and Kate bets they just finished one of their races, the ones that start with 'race you to Kate's' and end with something like 'by way of Calgary' or something equally silly. When they realize Kate's not alone, they both stand up straighter.

"You still okay to come over?" Tommy asks, walking in to her apartment like he's totally at home here, even though with all of their hanging out not once have they spent time here. If Clint recognizes the action as posturing, he doesn't comment, just follows the two with his eyes.

"Is this like that time with Nat and Bobbi and-"

Kate quickly shakes her head. "Nope. Not at all."

Lucky barks at the strangers, and Noh Varr is prototype distracted by the dog, sitting down beside him and giving him a good head scratch.

"I'm still good to go, yeah. Me and Clint were just catching up."

He gets up and stretches, totally to be casual and not to show off his archery arms, the dangerous build of his body. Kate rolls her eyes, because surely if he trusts her with top secret missions he can trust her with two boys.

"I should get going anyway. Got Avengers stuff to do. You know how it is."

Yes, she does, because for all the work he's been doing for them she's just as much an Avenger as he is, at this point. Out loud she just says. "Be safe. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

He smiles at her, and his hands flit through a few signs.

'I can't believe you gave me a hard time about redheads.'

'Shut up,' she clumsily signs back.

'White haired speedsters? Really, Katiekate?'

His sign name makes her smile in spite of herself. "Go away, old man," she says, and he gives her a wave and calls for Lucky, much to the disappointment of Noh Varr. As he leaves, she shoots him a 'Thanks,' and means it. It's so much easier to use her hands to tell the truth.

"How's Hawkeye?" Tommy asks, pretending to be friendly, but Kate knows he's fishing. She grabs her purse and her sunglasses, and ushers them out of her apartment.

"She's wondering where we're spending the day today. Any bright ideas, boys?"

They run to the tip of Long Island, and spend the day throwing rocks at driftwood. By the end of the day, there's an elaborate scoring system, and Kate is winning by almost one hundred points.

"Unlike you powered folk, I have actual skill, obviously..."

They take Kate's car up to Toronto for a weekend, camping in a tent borrowed from Clint that has a big burn hole right through it. Kate texts Billy and him and Teddy join the three of them for a concert. It's not a band she knows, but she has fun, and the looks she gets from both of her boys makes her feel so good in her own skin.

Billy leans towards her between songs, whispers in her ear.

"What's going on between you and my brother?"

She shrugs.

"I don't know."

He doesn't push. He does give her a tight hug at the end of the night, one Teddy joins in on, and Teddy says she looks happy and Billy tells her not to be a stranger and when she says "I won't, I'll text you" she feels like she can actually follow through with that, too.

Three months into their adventures, no longer every day but still more often than not, Kate watches Tommy attempt to teach Noh Varr pool (he's really not good enough to be teaching anyone) and notices that Tommy has what looks like a hickey on the side of his neck. A few days later, she lets herself into their ship to two very red faced boys doing absolutely nothing in the kitchen.

Maybe she has been self absorbed. Maybe she has completely misunderstood the situation. She can't help but let the panic in her build, as she goes through the motions of what hanging out with them usually looks like. They are just as tactile with her as they usually are, but she notices that when they slide together on the couch they no longer play at pushing each other away. She goes home earlier than usual, but she doesn't sleep well.

It has been sixty eight days since Tommy showed up at her door. She comes home from the archery range to two boys in her kitchen, arguing about where the fork goes on a table setting. Something smells delicious.

"Did you guys... Cook?"

"I feel like I should be offended by how surprised you sound," Tommy says, apparently letting Noh Varr win the cutlery argument. "But I'm pretty shocked myself."

"And you broke into my apartment to do it?"

"Actually, your landlord let us in." Noh Varr is stirring something on the stove. "He said it's his turn to meddle, and also he wants leftovers."

"Traitor," she mutters, and moves to help Tommy dole out servings.

It's after they've all sat down, food in front of them, that Noh Varr clears his throat. "Kate..."

She puts down her spoon, her stomach suddenly too nervous to eat. She doesn't like that tone. It sounds like he's trying to bring up the courage to say something, and she's sure it's about how their casual touching has started to linger, the way Tommy's tense body seems to relax just a little when Noh Varr smiles.

"Yes?" She wishes this could have waited until after dinner. She would have liked to pretend for just a little longer, and she knows afterwards that the meal won't taste as good.

"We didn't mean for this to happen," Tommy butts in, voice fast like it is when he's nervous. "Just so you know. We didn't plan it all, okay?"

"It just... Happened." Noh Varr adds. "To use an Earth cliche."

To her horror, Kate can feel herself tearing up. She doesn't do this. She doesn't cry over stupid boys, not in front of them, at least. She closes her eyes, trying to keep her breathing steady, but she knows if she tries to talk, the tears are going to spill over.

"It's fine. I get it." It probably won't even change much. It's not like they're going to stop being friends. Unless Kate runs away again. Which she won't do, because she's an adult who learns from her mistakes. Maybe just an extended vacation.

She reopens her eyes to twin expressions of horror from the boys who aren't hers.

"Are you... Crying?" Tommy stumbles over his words, hands out but not touching hers just yet.

"Why are you upset?" Noh Varr asks, looking just as lost as Tommy.

"Why am I upset?" And now her voice is wavering all over the place, and she's laughing, a giggle that might be a touch hysterical. "Because! You... You're breaking up with me!"

"What? No, we're not-"

"I don't think I understand-"

"You are, you're telling me you're with each other and that things are going to change and I don't want things to change!"

Tommy puts his hands over her hands, clenched on the tabletop. Noh Varr doesn't hesitate to pile his hands on as well, like they're in some bizarre sports huddle. They're both staring at her in disbelief, and Tommy, the ass that he is, is actually smirking.

"Kate! You've got it all wrong."

"Well, not exactly," Noh Varr interrupts. "You got half of it right."

"What do you mean?"

Tommy gives her hands a squeeze, or maybe it's Noh Varr. "We're trying to ask you out."

What.

"What?" Kate looks from one boy to the other. "Which one of you?"

"Both of us," Noh Varr is smiling too. "It isn't the most... Conventional of relationships, but..."

"Butwebothloveyou," Tommy finishes, all in a rush, like he's been waiting to say that for a while. "Andwebothwanttobewithyou."

"If you'll have us."

Kate's sure her face has gone slack with the shock of it all. She fixes her eyes on their entangled hands, because looking either of them in the face is making her head spin.

"You... Both?" She shakes her head, because she knows she's not wrong about the three of them. "All three of us?"

They both nod, and when she finally raises her head again, it's been long enough that they both look apprehensive. She takes in the sight of them, together. Her boys. She lets the words resonate in her chest, fill her up, and then she's smiling too. If she's still crying, no one mentions it.

"I think I would like that."

Her boys smile in relief, and both go in for a cheek kiss at the same time. It would have been cute, except that Noh Varr ends up head-butting Tommy on the way, and Tommy misses and kisses her eyebrow instead, and Kate laughs hard enough that she almost falls out of her chair, and in the end the dinner has to be reheated because they took too long being sappy. It's still the best dinner she's ever eaten, and by the looks on her boys' faces, they agree.

When Clint stops by in the morning for his leftovers, he is not surprised at all to be met with three drowsy superheroes, instead of one. He signs a rather crude remark Kate's way, which earns him a shriek and a punch in the shoulder. Tommy signs a 'thank you', and Kate loves when he surprises her, loves that he'll be around enough to keep doing it.

Not much changes, really. There's more kissing in her life now. The boys help her pick out a bigger bed. Molly's blanket ends up on her couch, and when she falls head-butting somewhere silly she always wakes up with it tucked around her. Sure, they trip over each other to use the shower in the morning, and they argue over the stupidest of things, sometimes, but Kate falls asleep with an arm around each boy and wakes up with both of them still there. This is what stable must feel like, she can't help but think. It's a weird kind of stability, but they're not exactly a normal trio, either. It works for them.

"Morning!" Noh Varr is usually the first one up. Kate blinks groggily at him, while Tommy grumbles and rolls over. "Billy texted. There are aliens downtown. Time to go save the world!"

"Why do all aliens have to be morning people?" Tommy whines into his pillow. Kate laughs, takes the cup of coffee Noh Varr is offering her, and drags herself towards her costume. A set of hands help her with her zipper without her asking, and give her shoulders a quick squeeze for good measure. She melts into Noh Varr's hands, the coffee already hitting her as she gets in the headspace for a fight.

"I'm not complaining," she teases. Tommy retaliates by taking her coffee, finishing it in a second, in his costume the next.

"Okay, fine. If they make good coffee, they can be morning people." Tommy gives her a kiss on the cheek, and then Noh Varr, and then he's off, because even though they talked about this, he's still going to run off and beat them to the fight, because that's who he is. Noh Varr will stick close to her, his own way of making sure they stay safe, because that's who he is.

And Kate will hold them together, will lead. Because that's who she is. And who she is is her own person, someone she's still getting to know. But someone who is happy here, between her two boys, saving the world. 

And that's everything.


End file.
